Friday, October 27, 2006

I'm in this current state of dead....the heart has stopped beating and so has the tears stop falling. I don't have the strength to even lift myself up onto the courage i use to have. I'v been bombarded by countless of crudeness till it leaves a whole heart shattered into a million fragments but still... still theres something not letting go....something is causing so much hurt that i'm bleeding inside... bleeding my life away. I wish i could die here right now... as i type... i wish i could just lay down and never to wake again from this sorrow...


the idea that expectations for starting a marriage are the same expectations you need for maintaining it... and if these expectations are not met, your marriage will be in trouble... Does the saying goes the same if u change the "Marriage to Relationship"?


Mistakes can't be taught as i learned... it really takes maturity, understanding , experience , appreciation, cherishing each little action, giving and taking.... lastly self reflection.... in 2 , 1 canot be reflecting on him/herself all the time when either sides feel that they have been useless and wrong... it takes both to reflect and ask themself the questions to make things right... the saying goes that it really takes 2 hands to clap. If either one does not reflect on the actions they made, when will the mistake be resolved...it will only drive the person who reflects into a mind of madness and insanity.

Soon.... i know i will go crazy... soon i know i will break down.... and soon i know i won't live to type my emotions out here again. I don't even dare to look into my diary now as the latest pages which i wrote are all about fights and broken hearts... When will the eyes be cured from this stubborness?..... Maybe leave this cruel world would resolve the situation i am in....

I Breath the air of sadness around me....
I Cry the soul out thats in me....
I Reflect on the actions that holds me....
I Hang on.... on the sweetest memories we had to keep me alive....
Once i let it go... i know i won't be around to see this world even a step further....

I'm a guy, with nothing more then a loving family for this past 21 years, The worlds best Mum , the Loving Older and Twin brother no one could ever dare ask for more and a Dad who is as stubborn as a loghead but still the solo bread winner who never denys the family of the basics... Now, i have a HER who is the edition to my life... The reason that changes black and white to rainbows in the sky... yet....

If 1 is to go...the world will come crashing down on me like doomsday... Please save me.

Friday, October 27, 2006