-JuLian-

20th Dec 2006

2006-12-20T14:35:00.000+08:00

<3~ J

<3~~ U

<3~~~ L O V E

<3~K R I S (.") <3>

<3~~~~~ A

<3~~~~~~ N

<3~~~~~~~

<3~~~~~~~~

<3~~~~~~~~~

Birthday is just around the corner ^^

Silent Night....

2006-12-19T22:45:00.000+08:00

10.30pm, Dad has finally turned in, the time has come again. Mummy, Adrian, Kevin, sorry i gotta leave this way but its for the better, i need to find a space outside this 4 walls to think. Sorry i didn't join dinner with you adrian & Mummy, was held up with some stuff too... Staring outside, i know its gonna be a wicked night to endure but hey, life is never easy when u wish they were A B C. When all fails, you know u need to be alone.

I'm leaving for now, with a little pouch containing nothing more then my cellphone , wallet and keys. Lets just say its for the moment, lets just put it the way that i turned back time 4 days back from now. Even as i sit here, the cold wind blows through the window sending shivers down my spine... Its just 3 days more to my 21st Bday and well, things has never been smooth sailing as expected. Maybe i should have just ignored what i saw today. Maybe i should have sealed my lips and sew my eyes shut to ignore the sights and sounds.

Well, it time to go. 3 days... does love have to kept in silent or voiced out to show? Well, i guess it should be kept in silent now. GoodBye home, good bye family, goodbye "you know who you are" cause when the next time u see me, it won't be blood that flows through me, it would be the sorrow from the heavens raining down now.

The Last Tear....

The Last Smile....

The Last Sounds of weeping....

The Last.... JulianGohHanShen"DEAD"

Trust don't come like a Snap, it comes from assurance
Believe don't come like a yea*, it comes from Trust
Love don't come like the wind, it comes from Actions
Hurt don't come like the Rain, it comes from you

If i was to spell the word on my mind out loud, it would be this.....

Kill Me.

why?

Cause i wanna die right now.

Beauty 'N' The Beast

2006-12-15T16:42:00.000+08:00

Tale as old as timeTrue as it can beBarely even friendsThen somebody bendsUnexpectedly.

Just a little change,small to say the least, both a little scared, Neither one prepared, Beauty and the Beast.

Ever just the sameEver a surpriseEver as beforeEver just as sureAs the sun will rise.

Tale as old as timeTune as old as songBittersweet and strangeFinding you can changeLearning you were wrong.

Certain as the sunRising in the eastTale as old as timeSong as old as rhymeBeauty and the Beast.

Tale as old as timeSong as old as rhymeBeauty and the Beast.

2006-12-14T14:20:00.000+08:00

Thursday, =) dear took the effort to get me a mini cake for my wish to be able to celebrate birthday in school with school uniform. The surprise made my tears flow down.I'm glad the chance came when i didn't expect it to. Well, though the actual day is on 22th, this is something i never get to experience in my entire life and well =) i must say i'm happy and contented. who would not be? ^^ am lucky and bless. Happy birthday 2 me, Happy birthday 2 me, happy birthday happy birthday. happy birthday to me!*

Tomorrow is the last day of school le. Guess its goodbye soon and yea, gonna miss some and be glad and contented of what i learned and got, favoured and loved in this year of education. Haiz, gonna rain again le. Hope tonight can make it with dear to her grandma's birthday successfully.

Signing Out - Julian " dear, thanks for everything"

(.") <3 (".)

2006-12-13T19:22:00.000+08:00

Its raining cats and gots as i sit here and type in my dim room... Staring outside the window, the sight of trees swurving as the roaring wind rushing through the leaves, the infinit drops of rain pouring down and the constant flashing of the roaring thunder. Yea, its just another day i guess. My leg achs hours before the rain, makes me feel like i am a weather man who sees the coming rain haz...

Dear is not feeling well, she's home taking care of EnEn as usual. How much i wish i could be there for her now, to be by her side, to take care of the baby girl, to give her some space for her rest and sleep. Sometimes do we ever wonder in a non scientific way why does the sky pours out it sorrow and changes to darkness? with the constant cry of the thunder and the pouring tons of tears? I guess even the weather feels sorrowful sometime.

Tomorrow is thursday and its the 2nd last day of the 2nd sem of my school life. After this, there won't be any more books or test, only an attatchment for 2 months and in a whiles time, it time to face the working society. Time flys real quick, a grueling 2 years in army and now soon an ending 1 year of this retail course. There are many done's which i made in this near 7 month, many i though would be great and some for a life time. I wish the life-time decision gets the blessings around me and you. Together in your arms is where i wanna be, walking this never ending road to the last standing end. Alas, i knew the choice was fantastic.

With Love
Julian

I say

2006-12-08T11:28:00.000+08:00

Argh...Today i got up with this pain killing me in my left leg....Its been 8 months since i had this injury but it seems to be getting a lot more worse recently... I think i can be a weatherman now, whenever my leg hurts, i know its gonna rain and yea it does rain -.-" Am gonna seek consultation and an X-Ray later in clementi polyclinic with the company of my dear. Man.. hate the doctors... Sniff*

Well, today i had this interiew test in school and its went real good, Ms Anna was real happy and yea, Thumbs up haha ^^ After that i went to accompany dear for her 2.4km Run. I am very PROUD of her ^^ though with a stomach cramp, she manage to complete the run in 2nd place without giving up halfway =) I love to see her with that fighting spirit, am so so proud!

Oh yea, just now i had a game with my Ex Gay Partner Shayne haha "Fake one la" A table tennis game and i send him back to taiwan hahaha! Yea..... ! Oops... Sorry bro ^^ Haha..=P but we will have a rematch soon la ok? hehe. I don't wanna offend this guy or else he might rush home and assisinate me with his $XXXX Archery Bow haha =P K la... time to go le. Signing out - Julian.

Julian sing's chinese songs -.-"

2006-12-06T14:28:00.000+08:00

Kinda retarded to know about this right guys? Haha... Well, its time to make a change, gonna listen more to Chinese songs to improve my 2nd language! Hmmm... it was kinda a twist of faith. Yesterady while at home dazing in my room, this chinese song suddenly came running through my head. It was coming from My bro's Kevin room.... Quite meaningful and reminds me of some moments i went through so.... i decided to learn =) Ooooo*

Well, am late for school today, haha, shayne called my bro to look for me today =P quite shocking but its good to know friends care so much hehe ^^ Haz....Just completed Excel Assignment and is slacking here in this computer lab again. There's still an hours and a 1/2 more before school ends. Time to play some games on dear's blog lolz =) silly apple catching yet so fun, reminds of kidos games hahah ^^ easy easy no kick 1. =P

Counting downs

2006-12-04T22:03:00.000+08:00

Monday again and soon attatchment will be coming. Just sitting around waiting and counting the days for things to come. 1st thing would be waiting for my twin to be back in singapore... haiz, just got an sms from him a day ago and he seems quite ok but i am still worried as he went through kidney operations before and his physical is not that tough...worried sick.

22th is coming and yea, am gonna be a year older. 21... Duhz, what a great time to face the working society. After that... Christmas on the 25th... well, if u ask me, i dont find december much of an exciting month. Usually i dont celebrate my birthday as only my cousins and brothers remember them and even if people do, they wont be around cause its holidays! plus! they might be over bothered over christmas preparation too.. oh well, aniway its been like 3 years since i celebrated. But this year i'm looking forward to the 22th dec, it will be special.

tata.

Walking Sticks

2006-11-30T21:50:00.000+08:00

Am Currently getting Scolding from the old man outside in the living room. Blasting Music to cover up his naggings. Well, =) Time for me or soon for me to use walking sticks. Today i went for this chinese physo to settle a long problem in my left leg. The good news is its still moving, the bad news is my fucking leg might be perment damaged due to army training and some running up and down for the pass months. Aniway, was really glad my twin could accompany me there. Life is kinda black and white and still he did manage to shower the love i needed, the love of family.

Tomorrow he is flying off to Brunei for 3 weeks of Military training. Its gonna be a tough one but i know he can do it, the fighting spirit we share for this 21 years of life... Everytime when he's away, my life is split into 1/2. If a day anything is to happen to him, i won't want to live to be the image as well.

After the visit to doc, we went over to grandma's place to accompany her till 6pm then the little kids came home and dragged us to the playground where u had a game of catching and hide and seek. KaiKai and MeiMei really brightes my day =) took a pic of them and a video of catching! so funny. Well... after its all over, here i am home again. Facing the walls, constantly holding onto my leg. Soon i might be a burden to everyone around me. Grandma is so worried for me... heartbroken to know. I hope mummy never knows about this or she would be so bothered.

Alas, dad has stopped his naggings. Time for me to close my eyes and say a lil prayer on life before i turn in. Had not been sleeping since last night. Julian....The road ahead is tough and its gonna get tougher when reality shows. Cherishing... Good night.

-Encrumbled-
Living is for giving, Giving is to be cherished, to be cherished is to feel love and to be loved is to be given the trust and assurance. Learning from experience is the way men excel, shading from actions only worsens the situation and makes the wrong stronger. Alas i know where i stand in life... If only life was as simple as ego see's it.

The blog again.

2006-11-27T19:52:00.000+08:00

Today the power of Six got drenched! Hell we were all wet after a 3 hour break back from vivo city... getting of the bus, i had to share the unbrella with Shayne and just think about this, the unbrella is PINK! its so darn small barely enough for me alone and i had to wrap my arms around shayne! Man i got all darn wet with only the upper part of me dry! oh man... so darn bad... Further more we got 3 girls behind us laughting their head off lolz.. Funny fight FiFi, ZhenXi and Dear!! argh...

Oh well, wednesday is coming and its some kinda social grooming test.. gotta dress well for that day as we will get tested and marked on out sense of dressing + guys gotta know how to tie and tie with 2 methods.. silly but i guess that day is gonna be fun.. can't wait.

Well, time is flashing pass fast and december is near.. school is gonna be over with still tons of projects to complete. Soon attatchment will begin and its sad thinking about it. Won't have much time to see my baby and that makes me sad.. Hope there will be chance to meet up more frequent. Yesterday went to watch battle of wits with her.. andy lau looks like some barbarian there but who cares... she loves him like crazy! and it drives me insane!! I am going nute haha...

23th November 2006

2006-11-23T08:45:00.000+08:00

Hello World! As usual now hitting the keys for blogging while i'm in school's computer lab. Gahz... LAter 9Am there is a talk in the LT Room till 11... Darn, gonna have to fight the cold for 2 hours and i'm sure i'll be freezing in there. Hmmm...My baby is still not here >.<" WOnder and wondering what time will she arrive in school.

Haaaa.. there will be NAFA test later on and i am wondering if i can score 5 points for all the stations. JUst hope my leg don't give way midway through the test... AM sure soon i will have to go for some treatment or something. Its all because of silly army that inflicted this life time injury on me... kinda regret being so on the ball while people dont even bother to work in there.

Oh well, I am planning to bring baby for a movie later after school ^^ to catch her "MR HANDSOM" ANDY LAU -.-" oh god... am gonna mentally prepare myself to hear and see her all over andylau when he appears on the screen argh!!! Hahahha... How good if only jessica simpson was everwhere hahaha OPS >.<" Sheezz... time to run ^^ hoping today and everyday would be the best days of my life.

Who loves u? i know i do ^^ i always always do. Julian <3 Kris

5th Month ToGeThEr~*

2006-11-21T10:46:00.000+08:00

( ^__^") Hmmm.... 21st Novmeber and its the 5th month we have been together le. Though its still a short time we been together but still i cherish the days that we'v been through. Well, lastnight i stood up making her a little something which took me some time but it all turn out good today. Ahhhh...* Teacher is nagging so much now... darn irritating! Shut my ears.

Burp* so bloted, today she made me breakfast " Sandwitch + Grapes + Orange Juice + Cookies " Breakfast could not have been better then this ^^" Think i can do without lunch later haha. Later at 11 there will bw CO OP operations for me so its work again haiz... School life has been getting tiring and lazy recently... wonder why too. Feel so sleepy recently. Oh well, time to sign out for now. =)

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - ....... and on and on and on it will go.... Happy 5th anniversary.

Days go by.

2006-11-15T22:06:00.000+08:00

School has been tough, projects flooding me till there aint enough spare for me to breath. Life has been tough and its getting tougher as the days go by. Currently my mind is at a state of blank. Have been through quite a lot recently and yea... its unforgetable.. those words, actions and outcome just keep flashing pass my mind time and time again. It was so close to been gone, it was so close to been over and it was so close for me to be isolated by myself again. Haix, life's a mess which i am screwing myself up with.

To be love is the sweetest thing anione could ask for... but to love, its the hardest thing anione could go through and i know theres no room for mistakes or the results will be devestating. Love.. 4 letters with the power to control and overwhelm ones heart , mind , soul.

Dear is now currently in the hospital for checkup and stuff... so worried. I hope the man up there could do some magic for her... for us. Haix. Julian signing out.

The Outcome

2006-10-29T17:23:00.000+08:00

Finally my heart starts to recover a little by little, it feels the blood going through it again instead of the chocking of sadness and sorrow. Though its been an awful 8 1/2 days of fight on this battlefield, the scale was huge and the impact was overwhelming.... i did manage to stand up with the help of hope and courage which i found inside that one shattered but under healing heart. Sniff* its good to feel alive, to be able to rest without the nightmares running through my mind for the pass few nights. Today, i waked to a new start of this relationship. A relationship which i placed my all into to love and cherish with all my heart once again.

Its good that i could walk out of my room with a smile on my face again. I'm sorry for those who kept standing by my side caring unconditionally.Thanks guys... thanks for understanding the situation. Well...i really wish i could thank my mum now for being there for me in the darkest hours of my life. If it was not for her i could not have hung in there long enough to see the world ever again. She was the pillar of strength and has always been for me through my years and if the thought of her didn't ran pass my mind... i knew the outcome would be a dreadful one.

Now its a sunshine after the rain, she has gone out to purchase and do some stuff with her friend. Well here i am typing as per normal again. Just got back from grandma's place. Its good to know everyone is still fine over there and ya... smile* Its good to know the fight is over and that she's finally ready to face me without the walls that use to block me out. I pray these walls never return again. I'm gonna have to allow this heart to regenerate with the love she gives again. Please respect my decision guys =) and thanks for the countless words of encouragement.
Julian - Signing out -

The Shattering

2006-10-27T01:56:00.000+08:00

I'm in this current state of dead....the heart has stopped beating and so has the tears stop falling. I don't have the strength to even lift myself up onto the courage i use to have. I'v been bombarded by countless of crudeness till it leaves a whole heart shattered into a million fragments but still... still theres something not letting go....something is causing so much hurt that i'm bleeding inside... bleeding my life away. I wish i could die here right now... as i type... i wish i could just lay down and never to wake again from this sorrow...

the idea that expectations for starting a marriage are the same expectations you need for maintaining it... and if these expectations are not met, your marriage will be in trouble... Does the saying goes the same if u change the "Marriage to Relationship"?

Mistakes can't be taught as i learned... it really takes maturity, understanding , experience , appreciation, cherishing each little action, giving and taking.... lastly self reflection.... in 2 , 1 canot be reflecting on him/herself all the time when either sides feel that they have been useless and wrong... it takes both to reflect and ask themself the questions to make things right... the saying goes that it really takes 2 hands to clap. If either one does not reflect on the actions they made, when will the mistake be resolved...it will only drive the person who reflects into a mind of madness and insanity.

Soon.... i know i will go crazy... soon i know i will break down.... and soon i know i won't live to type my emotions out here again. I don't even dare to look into my diary now as the latest pages which i wrote are all about fights and broken hearts... When will the eyes be cured from this stubborness?..... Maybe leave this cruel world would resolve the situation i am in....

I Breath the air of sadness around me....
I Cry the soul out thats in me....
I Reflect on the actions that holds me....
I Hang on.... on the sweetest memories we had to keep me alive....
Once i let it go... i know i won't be around to see this world even a step further....

I'm a guy, with nothing more then a loving family for this past 21 years, The worlds best Mum , the Loving Older and Twin brother no one could ever dare ask for more and a Dad who is as stubborn as a loghead but still the solo bread winner who never denys the family of the basics... Now, i have a HER who is the edition to my life... The reason that changes black and white to rainbows in the sky... yet....

If 1 is to go...the world will come crashing down on me like doomsday... Please save me.

The love....

2006-10-24T21:28:00.000+08:00

Its been 3 days of ups and downs and well.... Now i'm left with myself to sit here to think deeper then before.For this pass 4 months, i realized that changes has been taking place in my life, something which happens naturally without setting a goal but it through mistakes and misunderstanding where i picked up all this pieces and place them back into our puzzle.

What makes it last? i'v been think really hard wrecking my head and searching in my soul to find that perfect answer to make things last for eternity. Feeling quite useless all of a sudden. its like i feel like i lost my sense of hearing and touch but i'm left with my sight to see each step crumble without the ability to stop the unwanted changes. How am i to love when i am stopped from loving? how am i to improve when i am never exposed to what i should do or what should be done at the right time....how am i to love someone.... it can't be as easy as saying I Love You.

Gotta admit at times i'm kinda muddle headed in stuff... being a slow learner and never noticing the surrounding and peoples around me and those causes me to fall really hard once and again... realizing the mistakes, i made the point of always picking myself up and changing for the better. Shiff... i could no longer hold all the love i hide inside and the mistakes i made causing myself to the very end of uselessness... Wish someone could knock me awake from this bumbness.

Its been a while since i came to realize how much cherishing someone means... never feeling this before, i started searching for answers from mistakes and happy moments. It came out to be understanding each others, appreciate each others loving actions and understanding the heart of your partner. Its never healthy to predict the future but always treat each others actions and love for each other like its gonna be the last one in life. We'r never a burden to each other, if one is to love and cherish, the heart is willing to be placed on the line for the worse outcome but even before that day arrives, it will keep on fighting for the best, never going to give up even when the chances are 1-100... I'm never gonna give up.

Loving is the start, enduring and realizeing, appreciate and cherishing is the process which makes the heart change and work for the better... making the bond stronger and tighter clearing all the dark clouds and walls which deny our feelings and actions which could be spoken without a misunderstanding. An easier place to hold each other hand in hand walking down the never ending road with the least ups and downs... and lastly.... the outcome will be something sweet....some worth fighting for. Its said that to give up is not worth the fight as u know the outcome would be a bitter one.... but to fight is to never regret the outcome of the downfall as you tried... i tried. And if the outcome is sweet....would life be a 1000000 reasons to live together forever?....

I choose to fight....even if it takes how much the time , effort , blood, tears and sorrow.... i won't give up to learn....

good night.

Loneliness sets in even more.

2006-09-28T17:28:00.000+08:00

Listening to a few Korean songs which an old friend send a few hours ago... Haiz, my mood is so low now, could it be the song is making me think of her even more?? its been almost 2 days since i last saw her and well, the missing is setting in again. So tired... So weak.... So lonely at times. Am down with this serious headach since lastnight till now and i guess since then i had poped like 7 panadol pills till now. I skipped my breakfast and lunch today... i wonder why i lost my mood in eating all a sudden and yet i dont feel the hunger even till now that its almost dinner time.

Arghz!!! fustrated on my silly leg, still hurts and i wonder should i carry on running.... so Low la today... only cure would be her.

When loneliness sets in.

2006-09-28T17:09:00.000+08:00

Listening to some Korean song which i just got from a friend in California and ya, feeling lonely at home. If i don't see her today then i might go nuts tonight. Lastnight i was down with a real bad headach which lasted even till now. So far i think i'v popped like 6 Panadol pills for less then 12 hours. Argh... My head hurts bad and when i learn that of thing people are trying to frame me in, it gets me really insane at times. How cruel the world can be to have people like this living on it... Haix, forget it now but not again.

Baby is at home working on something for me. Guess theres still a long way to go before i gets it from her... haiz, miss her so... miss her so.... 2 days kills me.

Back from Malaysia and it was great!

2006-09-27T12:31:00.000+08:00

Oh well, I must say i am sad back here in singapore...Going back was like a dream, Just a blink of an eye and here i am back in singapore... maybe its because of the few days trip that made me feel this way... But still, valuable lessons were learned there. Thinking about that make me miss my grandma so much even more then now... how much she loved, cared and haiz... i just miss her smile and the way she calls me by my name Ah Ju....*sad*

Its been 3+ years i'v not went back to Sarawak and the feeling was great i must say. Everyone there were so warm towards me but most importantly towards ma darling. Wow i am amazed they all love her so so much! haha... thats also good for me as i known i made the right decision and its gonna stay with me for the lifetime. Lolz, thinking about me joking about buying a stufftoy for someone instead of dear made my grandma angry haha... she took is so serious but after that everyone were laughting as they all know its a joke. Anyway, i got her a hmmm.. kinda huge tigger which seem to have stolen poo's rain coat haha.

Oh well... leaving malaysia was sad. Before i got onto the car to the airport, grandma gave me this real tight hug and a kiss... It almost made me tear in front of them like what i always do everytime when i went back but this time was special, she hugged both me and kris at the same time telling us to treasure each other... Those words made me really touched. I promise i cherish her for a lifetime grandma... i promise. Haiz...

2 More days to Malaysia!

2006-09-18T10:10:00.000+08:00

Yup! 2 more days and i will be going back to my home town! well, this time its special, 1st thing is that i am going without my parents or brothers and 2nd! this is the best, i am bringing my baby along with me! so so excited and i really can't wait to be on the plane with her and off we will be to Kuching Sarawak!

Yeah, yesterday was 1st time i did some heavy shopping with darling... woooo... spend like 100+ bucks in just an hour plus! but i managed to get this real cool rugged Jeans and T-shirt + a couple slippers* haha with my baby =) Dear dear did some shopping too and she got a Jeans , a nice Roxy baseball lookalike pants and the same slippers are me ^^ . YEsterday was fun till when we hit the arcade it got hella more fun! Imagine playing games which provide tickets to change for stuff... and when the tickets keep squirting out from the machine and the final outcome was 380 tickets! woooo so happy haha... Yup =) kinda childish but hey, sometimes u just gotta live like a kid to be happy man!

Alright, time to end this, am gonna go bath and surprise baby with breakfast =) Oh ya, the pic above, sweet? She arranged those hehe ^^ Love ya darling!

Old days of me shows in others

2006-09-05T18:49:00.000+08:00

Being 21, everyone knows almost the 100% of their purpose in life, well for me, A great family,My loving darling, a great job and soon other family commitments are what i am looking forward to. Someone happen and made some flash back on my previous teenage life today... was kinda angry seeing those actions happen again but it was all good when she could hold my hand and calm me down. Thanks darling.

Gotta meet up with an old army friend Muru today, quite some stuff to talk about but its good to know he has been doing well and have started to walk the right purpose road in life. Its obvious and true that military life changed someone to a thinker then a rash acting person.

Darling was bothered but quite some stuff today. About me, her childhood buddy and lastly her health..The one that i really wish i could cure is the health matter...I am determined to find a way. Sheez... time to read the papers now. -End ~J <3 K~

A New Start~*

2006-09-04T07:35:00.000+08:00

7.30am, here i sit in front of the com once again. Its school day and i'm halfway through preparing before i face the coming new week. Just called darling 30 mins ago, haha, she's still asleep...forever she'll be my piggie sleep sleep sleep but ahi yo, why slept at 5am lastnight my dear? Thanks for the mid night sms though i didn't wake up to read it cause i was totally dead tired from watching you sleep yesterday. Heeez... i miss you and can't wait to see u in school later dear, Hugz* Love you* K la, time to get ready to leave home. See u Later My DeAr! ^^

17 hours with you....i'm going back, i will.

2006-09-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

words will never be able express my feelings today. Those words will never show, for you i'v come to know =) -End

Psss..watchin you sleep soundly with tots running through my mind, i promise that....... Love you Darlin.

Thanks darling ^^ - "Sam Birthday"

2006-09-03T00:03:00.000+08:00

Lastnight, i got a text from my darling saying she can't sleep and the next thing i knew when she came over to my place was a tub of lovely self made chocolate puffs from her! So sweet....was so touched. Thanks Dear! nothing compares up to your self made stuff for me hehe. Now i am still considering should i munch on 1 more of it before i turn now.Lastnight was special for me, it was the 1st time i had a text from her in the middle of e night 3.36am* , thanks for showing this side of your image to me dear, remember, i ain't perfect and i dont expect perfection so i am seriously contented with what i have now in you. =) other changed are made till we live under one roof le ya. Lastly.... not leaving out what happened today before the bbq, am really sorry.... thanks for forgiving me. =) it heals my wounds instantly u know?

Anyway, today was Samuals birthday! Lastnight helped him do some shopping for BBQ stuff and today the BBQ was quite a great one with a mixture of stuff like hotdogs, fishballs, sotong, noodles, Otah , Vodka! , Chivas! haha... oh my... cooL ya? Wish ya all the luck at 18 now my dear cousin! =)

1 thing i learned today, never hide something from someone who u really love and cherish the most. the scars will forever remember what pass mistakes i made. Though it hurts now, i think its worth it, or u would never have stay and forgive me... Sorry darling. Sniff

* yaaa... cool down le, time to bath. Oh ya! Thanks for editing my blog for me darling ^^ Wo ai NI! Hehehe. (o^X^o) <-- Anyone can guess whats this? i learned something from this too hehe... ^^"

2006-08-31T23:14:00.000+08:00

3rd blog for today ^_^" this is a last min one which i just had an urge to type. Wow... i never tot watching you sleep would make me feel so contented dear. Sounds kinda sicko huh but while pattin you while watching u sleep beside me was so....sweet. I guess u didn't realise i was giving u kisses on your forehead time and again, adjusting the blanket for u so u wont feel cold and stroking your hair softly and slowly... haiz, wish everyday i could just do this simple things for you.

Yaaaa... tomorrow no school and yup, we are goona go out and shop for my cousins birthday gift! hehe. Thanks for teaching me how to upload pics in this blog thingi haha... i am a retard when it comes to doing all this computer stuff, all i know is msn and maplestory lolz... at lvl 91 i am all ready to quit, had enough of gaming and i gues its time i give it up like smoking. Just now while at the coffeeshop i was really really! tempted.... but still i didn't give in and i hope i can maintain it till i am used to not taking a puff when others do it.. the smell, the sight.... is hard to resist but i promise i try hard. =)

As i type, your blog sings the calm music which is making me miss u while u are not by my side, can't wait for u to call later haha.. i am shadowed by your love hahaha... Shhh... so paiseh! stopping here now. Muackz, btw, guys, nice job on yesterdays retail project, we made some good $ though its not much but the working style was amazing, thanks for putting all the effort in guys! FiFi, Vicknesh, Shayne, Zhenxi "Me and Dear" , we rock!

In the self access room while you were away!

2006-08-31T14:31:00.000+08:00

Phew,finally i got some time to log in and type again ^^ Just came up from passing one of the customers of yesterdays bizaar's sales stuff. Oh ya, yesterday in school my class had this bizaar thingi which lasted for 4 hours from 8-2pm and man it was hella fun.Before yesterady, my grp and i spend like say.... 1 week to get into contact with suppliers and nego with the prices before we could come out with a decision on the items and the pricing to place for them.The night before the sale, i did some last min shoppin for the bizarr stuff and spend 2 hours from 8+ -10+pm with my darlin kris drawing the poster for our store and preparing the cash book thingi.

Was amazed that the 1st 3 sales were from teachers. Me and vicknesh went up to the teachers room to get the stocks when the teachers came by wanting to view what we were selling and instead of just watching, the teachers bought 3 T-shirts from us!! Cool huh? $ even before the sales started. Once 8.30am came, students were swarming our store and goods are flyin off fast from the display wrecks and bags... To be honest, i feel that yesterday we did hella a great job! The final sales came to apromix of total 450-500 and after deduction of the coast price, we are stilll earning quite some profit ^^"

Well, aniway, enoguh of all this bizaar thingi and back to class... more then half of the students ain't here and Ohhh!! Hahaha... someones computer a few seats beside mine auto off and her blog which is still in the typing process all went gone hahaha... XD WOndering hows my dear doing for her roleplay... before that she was called to the teachers room for something... i hope its not something bad... so worried for her. Actually, ms lim is kinda caring, just now she was talking to me on where i could bring kris to check on her unstable health conditions... ahi yo. Stoppin here once again, so many ppl ard and i just cant think of what to say... ^^" Signin out.

I hope u stay the same.

2006-08-31T10:05:00.000+08:00

Lastnight was one filled with tons of emotions and confusions.....a night with lots of tears and sadness yet still love holds you strong. I hope that special someone does not change anymore....Its scary, makes me afraid and sad to see it.

Anyway guys! i am proud to say i have not smoked for 4 days! Hahaha.... Imagine from sec 2 - after army to now and i'm finally giving it up... its gonna be a painful process but hey, it worth it ya? its nice to have my darling beside supporting me. ^^"

Oh well, skipped school today morning as its teachers day but am going back later during noon time.... shhhh... =P

Monday Blues

2006-07-31T22:57:00.000+08:00

Dam! Failed my SES test darn!! can't believe it! was filled with confidence when i got the paper but the results gave me a haert attack! silly answers which should be right went all wrong ... Al that made me write tons of notes 20 mins ago ending my studies.. kao. Lucky RTO did not bad ^^ haix ^^ studies..

Was below my block slocking all out writing all those notes with the companyt of kevin and samual... it seems like staying out is a better choice as i can concentrate better haha.. excuses? maybe. 2 more days to dear dear's birthday lo... Gonna give her a nice gift which she guessed from Disneys and its half a hair clip + something else lolz... can slowly guess la!

Oh well... =) Time to chat with her liao. enough of blogging for 2 nite ^^ Chaoz~*

Life without emotion

2006-07-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

Emotion makes life a much wonderful or sad. Without em... whats feeling for? Anyway, Been at the cyber cafe the whole day now and am about to leave for home. Saturdays ends just like that, not being able to see her for a whole day make me kinda uneasy. She's still sick, down with cough, cramps and all... hope all will go well. Miss her So~*

Its been a simple day with many tots on my mind, tots that would make me wish i change all that i wan to change in an instant. Its never easy and the fact is true that changing someone is not easy but it won't be given up till i keep on trying and trying. 10pm, she should be closing shop soon... i'll be waiting for her call which sould be anytime now ^^" Miss u Kris.... really do.

ENd-

Troubled day

2006-07-28T19:55:00.000+08:00

Haix.... no one understand how i feel when things go totally wrong in my life....i wish things could be perfect. Went over to Dover ITe for some enrichment program and after that things got pretty complictaed and got me really stressed angry then worries...but i believe things will be better as this kinda experience could be learned...

Still looking for a gift for the special someone's birthday.... a watch maybe? or could someone give me some ideas? =)

Worried sick

2006-07-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

Poor kris having a bad cough for like 2 weeks now and she's down with constant pain in the stomach...reason being lack of food...Haix. Though with all the pain she's in, she still went for volleyball training today and did kinda well, improved a lot from the last training! Proud of ya haha ^^

Darn, what a tiring day it was aniway....test and all the studies + volleyball ... phew. Tomorrow is gonna be better as the class is going over to Dover for some stuff so there won't be school. well, but still it worries to think kris is working from friday to sunday... Haiz. May god help her recover soon aye. I'll pray a little ^_^"

Test Test Test...

2006-07-26T21:05:00.000+08:00

After another day of war in the classroom, tomorrow comes another test for Effective communication....God, when will all this test stuff ever end ? Well anyway, school was kinda good today. I'm trying to motivate myself not to sleep in class and give the teacher a better impression of me and my grp.

Rushing for my previous EFC projects finally paid off today when the teacher commented that it was very well done and we'll score high for it! really am proud of my group mates Vicknesh, shayne, cherish, fiza and finally kris ^^ Clap clap* Great job guys!

I'm gonna make sure out grp will be the best in class!Haiz, time to study for EFC test now.. Gonna get my stuff ready and go to some studycorner near my home to work it out haha ^^ Cheers everyone.

A Silly start to blogging

2006-07-25T15:48:00.000+08:00

Silly yes.... why'm i starting this blog is reason being my girlfriend blogs and i am just too curious what the blogging world would be like as tons of people are too over obsessed with it.My brothers are blogging, so are my cousins my friends their friends and even on the papers its said blogging is a super great trend now... Hmmm... Maybe its cause of all the people bring able to read the silly mails we post everyday which seems to either entertain them or turn them off, the from ugly to extremely WOW pics that we got to show just to try to get famous and the hobbies we have to share ? Bla Bla Bla

Whatever it is, this is gonna be my start to the blog and hell ya its gonna end here as i'm in class right now starting this whole stuff. Sheeezz..."with my gf beside showing me a black face, asking my brother shayne and sista zhenxi not to teach me how to use this program...." Bleahz! Till the next mail...

"Holla and -peace out"